My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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