Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
