If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
