Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
