dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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