is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need to wash the frat house off of me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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