"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your shirt... Was in my pants
there is glitter all over my balls
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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