that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
