turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
