But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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