Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize