I molested 6 butterflies tonight
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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