it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
