somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
be right there i have to get my cape
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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