i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
