So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
