Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
