aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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