he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
