Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
