they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
