Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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