I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
