True but thats because hes a fetus.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
