Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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