They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
