Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
