I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
