I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
