He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
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She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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