I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
