dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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