Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
