Swine flu. Run for my life!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
