So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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