I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
