The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
third nipple confirmed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
