I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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