East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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