My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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