Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
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I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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