Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
zippers are such a cool invention
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul