Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot

  (586): View more from Michigan

  That was very cool/italian of you

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving

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  (586): You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot (586): That was very cool/italian of you (586): Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving http://tfl.nu/l4rm
  Replies (11) Good night (1886) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up

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  (716): angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up http://tfl.nu/mr2g
  Replies (26) Good night (4473) Bad night (784)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me

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  (781): just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me http://tfl.nu/gh9y
  Replies (12) Good night (933) Bad night (4044)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.

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  (863): I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy. http://tfl.nu/ar0z
  Replies (21) Good night (4578) Bad night (1815)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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  (707): the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him. http://tfl.nu/x6kf
  Replies (43) Good night (5092) Bad night (1782)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.

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  (937): She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable. http://tfl.nu/xs8x
  Replies (10) Good night (2763) Bad night (1128)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"

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  (480): My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap" http://tfl.nu/nk79
  Replies (6) Good night (3902) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me

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  (416): this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me http://tfl.nu/7rt7
  Replies (9) Good night (3133) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital

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  (718): Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital http://tfl.nu/1aye
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?

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  (870): Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with? http://tfl.nu/z4e7
  Replies (31) Good night (559) Bad night (2409)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday

  (813): View more from Florida

  Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.

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  (813): ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday (813): Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun. http://tfl.nu/oehn
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.

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  (216): I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right. http://tfl.nu/rt33
  Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.

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  (434): This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair. http://tfl.nu/7doa
  Replies (4) Good night (335) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy

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  (330): I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy http://tfl.nu/vj29
  Replies (4) Good night (658) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  the girl whose rug I peed on is here

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  (205): the girl whose rug I peed on is here http://tfl.nu/6wyj
  Replies (4) Good night (260) Bad night (451)

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