White coat. Heels.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
