Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I can only date guys with blackberrys

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me

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  (810): I can only date guys with blackberrys (810): I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me http://tfl.nu/t7yh
  Replies (11) Good night (803) Bad night (1027)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.

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  (248): i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles. http://tfl.nu/v155
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (1089)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

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  (425): Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility. http://tfl.nu/j5r5
  Replies (14) Good night (2859) Bad night (585)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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  (434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41
  Replies (44) Good night (1101) Bad night (5698)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.

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  (972): So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting. http://tfl.nu/8ip1
  Replies (40) Good night (5646) Bad night (1445)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex

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  (610): what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex http://tfl.nu/02xp
  Replies (36) Good night (1033) Bad night (4429)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes

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  (920): I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes http://tfl.nu/1teg
  Replies (9) Good night (4327) Bad night (837)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer

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  (203): Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/j23z
  Replies (15) Good night (1574) Bad night (2252)
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  (562): View more from California

  I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?

  (714): View more from California

  Whatever it is you failed

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  (562): I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean? (714): Whatever it is you failed http://tfl.nu/fjub
  Replies (10) Good night (1018) Bad night (1984)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.

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  (936): He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again. http://tfl.nu/4f76
  Replies (27) Good night (711) Bad night (2397)
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  (858): View more from California

  PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.

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  (858): PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS. http://tfl.nu/mje4
  Replies (0) Good night (1753) Bad night (375)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy

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  (413): I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy http://tfl.nu/pee7
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (333)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.

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  (210): Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me. http://tfl.nu/zs5w
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (326)
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  (415): View more from California

  turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.

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  (415): turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world. http://tfl.nu/96m9
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (299)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You gift wrapped a tampon.

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  (815): I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase. (1-815): You gift wrapped a tampon. http://tfl.nu/h0zj
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (369)

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