Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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(267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac

Replies (51) Good night (3404) Bad night (1029)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait

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(208): I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait http://tfl.nu/xv9u

Replies (9) Good night (2277) Bad night (935)
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(703): View more from Virginia

So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.

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(703): So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out. (1-703): You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend. http://tfl.nu/y4qo

Replies (24) Good night (5483) Bad night (1185)
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(813): View more from Florida

Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.

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(813): Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get. http://tfl.nu/c3cp

Replies (10) Good night (4904) Bad night (974)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?

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(405): i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk? http://tfl.nu/idqr

Replies (25) Good night (5587) Bad night (1721)
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(207): View more from Maine

Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.

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(207): Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me. http://tfl.nu/7so1

Replies (20) Good night (3149) Bad night (1232)
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(916): View more from California

let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.

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(916): let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again. http://tfl.nu/i76s

Replies (4) Good night (2339) Bad night (719)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.

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(303): I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college. http://tfl.nu/snfw

Replies (3) Good night (4003) Bad night (814)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?

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(918): Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball? http://tfl.nu/b2ii

Replies (5) Good night (878) Bad night (714)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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(864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47

Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (531)
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(807): View more from Ontario

Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.

(519): View more from Ontario

does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.

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(807): Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes. (519): does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks. http://tfl.nu/6pcz

Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (847)
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(+81): View more from

On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows

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(+81): On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows http://tfl.nu/nqax

Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (375)
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(206): View more from Washington

Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.

(425): View more from Washington

I'll pay?

(206): View more from Washington

Pick me up at 9.

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(206): Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you. (425): I'll pay? (206): Pick me up at 9. http://tfl.nu/l115

Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (506)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

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(402): Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter http://tfl.nu/7i88

Replies (1) Good night (771) Bad night (453)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.

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(317): I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family. http://tfl.nu/thtc

Replies (0) Good night (298) Bad night (159)

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