dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.