Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
