hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
