Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
