This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
