Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
