I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
