I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
