p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
