He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
barbara walters just said penis...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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