I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
