I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
