So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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