I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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