im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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