dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
