Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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