his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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