What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
