I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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